Did I Tell You About Our First Date?

Twenty-seven years ago today, my wife and I went on our first date. We've been together ever since. This anniversary means a lot to us, as much or more than our wedding anniversary, as neither of us was looking for anything permanent back then. I, myself, just wanted to go out, have a nice dinner, laugh a little. Both of us were, in fact, coming off relationships that hadn't worked out. I was actually coming off an almost twenty-year marriage.

If truth be told, my wife actually asked me out that day, though in a round-about way. I had mentioned something about going out together, and before she left the office I was volunteering in, she asked me if I were serious. Trying to be cool, I replied."About what?" And she replied, "About going out." I replied in the affirmative, and we made a date for that evening after her work shift, a 3-11 P. M. at the Salvation Army Detox Unit. She's a nurse.

When we met at a mutually agreed on site, we took my car and went to T. G. I. Friday's. I remember clearly that I had a huge Cobb Salad, one of my favorites. I was a bit nervous because I had pretty much been out of the dating scene for years. But we ate, we talked, we laughed, and when I took her back to her car, she leaned over, kissed me on the cheek, and almost jumped out. It truly was a pleasant evening, and it began a partnership that has lasted until this day 27 years later.

Over the subsequent years, we've been through some difficult times, both with each other, and with the world at large. But one thing has always been constant -- no matter what we were going through, we loved each other and still do. Just as important, we like each other. She knows me like no other human being on earth, and that's just fine with me. By the way, when we decided to get married in April 1972, again it was she who asked, as I no longer used the "m" word because of her skittishness about it. I accepted, obviously.

I never thought I'd feel this way about another human being. Actually, I had begun to doubt if I was capable of accepting another human being exactly as she was. Through the principles I learned in the program of recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous, I found that I was capable if I could just get my ego out of the way. Once I realized this, I began to work on it, and I can honestly say that in my relationship with my loving wife, my ego plays very little part. And it's a much easier way to live than I have ever known. Besides, being right is hugely overrated. It's far better to be happy. Give it a try. You might even like it.